Said my prayers this morning, and included a prayer to St. Blaise. Seemed pretty cool to me that, as a person with throat cancer, I had a specific Saint to petition. When I was a kid we had a special Mass each year on the feast of St. Blaise. We'd all take our turns walking up the isle, and hitting our knees to get our throats blessed with crossed candles. Blaise was another of the lesser known Saints. He's also the first Saint I thought of when getting my diagnosis. I put out some calls to some of my ordained friends, and asked them to give Blaise a shout on my behalf.
This morning I also came a little bit closer to terms with the inevitability of a throat closure. It's uncomfortable, but not unbearable.
Yesterdays treatment did not kick my ass as bad as last week(so far). The cumulative effect of the treatment is noticeable. The throat discomfort is sustained, and more pronounced. The rinses do not give long term relief. My energy level is diminishing. I walked a mile on the treadmill this morning, it took forever.
Meditation helps me to accommodate the discomfort. Meditation allows me to lay quietly on a metal table with my face mask bolted down. I have been scratching the surface of meditation for years, without really overly embracing the process. I have a daily discipline that includes some meditation. My daily routine has changed to include longer periods of quiet. It has brought me some peace. It gives me some intuitive awareness. It has also made me more aware of my present situation.
I am aware that my life is more sequestered than I might like. I am more phobic as pertains to germs, and kids. I am not as comfortable in crowds. I am somewhat secluded, and protective of my space. These changes are part of the shift in my gyroscope.
Bumper sticker on an 83 VW Sirocco said on one side: Humpty Dumpty was Pushed; the other side it said; MEDITATION: It's Not What You Think!
Today's Playlist
Andrea Bocelli – Con Te Partirò
Toto – Africa
Enya – Storms In Africa
Dave Edmunds – Get Out Of Denver
No comments:
Post a Comment