Oh contraire mon frère 9/30/11

Hello Australia, and Singapore!

   Beth and I snuck out to a movie yesterday(Memo to Self: Avoid popcorn until further notice.), and I was reminded that, in my opinion, Paris(not in Texas), is by far the most beautiful city I have ever visited. Not NYC, not LA, not San Fran, not London, not Rome, not Maui. I'm not saying it is the most livable city, but, it is by far, the most beautiful city. We visited in 2005 while Kevin was studying in London. (Thank you Kevin for providing us with the perfect excuse.) We took the train through the Chunnel. I don't speak French, and had some less than positive preconceived notions about France, and the French. I had to loose my prejudice, and negativity about the French prior to my visit. It was suggested that I love the French.  It worked. Needless to say, I was wrong about the French. They were wonderful, they were helpful, friendly, interesting, and they didn't hate me, or make me feel less than. We had lunch at Taillevent (restaurant) - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia a world famous restaurant. I had the rabbit. Prior to our departure, the ladies were checking out the facilities. I sat down and had a lovely chat with a man who turned out to be the owner. He could not have been more unassuming, or pleasant. I would return to Paris in a heartbeat. Steely Dan – Reeling In The Years

   I feel pretty good today. I woke up early, said my prayers, made my bed, brushed my teeth, and took a shower. I had some extra energy so I called a friend of mine(at 5:45am) who has been having some difficulties. I suggested a cup of coffee, and he agreed. I felt much better that he didn't say "Hey you Idiot, don't you know what time it is? My day improved by spending some time with him. I don't know how to explain it, but participating in his life helps him, and gives me an improved perspective on my own. The Gaslight Anthem – The '59 Sound

   The neurological side effects of the surgery are becoming more apparent with my increased freedom. I've gotten used to having numbness, and shooting pains around the house, but the shoulder strap of the seat belt is a bitch. Those things are overkill, and we should be allowed to cut them off, and just have a normal airplane seatbelt. If it's good enough for a plane crash, it should be sufficient for the road. I'm just saying...The Gaslight Anthem – American Slang

   The numbness in my fingers, head, and shoulder have gotten very little attention during the active cancer treatments. They were ancillary inconveniences, and consequences. Well I'm done with treatment, and now I want this other stuff fixed! Is that so wrong? I could probably use a lobotomy, that would fix what's wrong with me. Steely Dan – Only A Fool Would Say That

   Alison Krauss has a great set of pipes! Alison Krauss – When You Say Nothing At All
   Todays Playlist:
Alison Krauss – Baby, Now That I've Found You
The Foundations – Baby Now that I've Found You
The Foundations – Build Me Up Buttercup
Boz Scaggs – Lido Shuffle
The Gaslight Anthem – Meet Me By The River's Edge
The National – Fake Empire
Pat is dying to tell you that joke!
Glad to feel better! Watch out!
Bonsoir,(I love the French)
TJH

Where does all this spiritual talk come from? 9/29/11

   Experience in my own life has lead me to reach certain conclusions. Not dogma, not institutional, not Baltimore catechismic(catechismal), not religious conclusions, but spiritual conclusions based upon my own experience. My life continues to unfold into goodness. The seemingly bad circumstances prove to be spiritual opportunities. Damaged relationships are healed, economic difficulties are accepted, physical obstacles are met with surprising composure. Miraculous coincidences become common.The Flaming Lips – Do You Realize??

   Hola(hello)Panama!!!
   12 countries, call the UN. I'm huge in Panama(Central America)Hee Hee.
   Luka Bloom – See You Soon

   Holy shit, I'm an evangelist, but I'm not exactly sure what to do with that. I'm no Preacher, or Tent Minister. I'm a regular guy living a spiritual experience. Sure it doesn't hurt to have 7 weeks of treatment in the rearview mirror, but I would venture to say that as I approached this physical, emotional, financial, spiritual obstacle, I was able to tap into a Power significantly larger than me. Through the course of my illness I have been lifted up by the kind thoughts, deeds, and prayers of others. I was lifted up by the physicians, and medical professionals. I was lifted by family, and friends, past , and present. I was lifted by clergy of every denomination. I was lifted up by strangers. I was included in meditation, and pilgrimage. I have been given blessings, tokens of support, and anointments.The Decemberists – This Is Why We Fight

   Here I go...Einstein said in his book The World As I See It "A knowledge of the existence of something we cannot penetrate, of the manifestations of the profoundest reason and the most radiant beauty, which are only accessible to our reason in their most elementary forms---it is this knowledge and this emotion that constitute the truly religious attitude. He goes on to say "The true value of a human being is determined by the measure and the sense in which he has attained to liberation from the self". Go figure...I like Einstein. Don't ask me about the theory of relativity, or the music of the spheres.Los Lonely Boys – Heaven

Good Yon tif, and Happy New Year, may it be Sweet.
TJH
Todays Playlist:
Bright Eyes – Shell Games
Bright Eyes – First Day Of My Life
Ben Harper – Diamonds On The Inside
The Damned – Alone Again Or
Blind Boys Of Alabama – Walk In Jerusalem
Blind Boys Of Alabama – Danny Boy
Reading List:
The Greatest Thing in The World by Henry Drummond(61 pages)
The World as I See It by Albert Einstein(112 pages)

So I'm minding my own business...9/28/11

   I've been given another second chance. Last week I let my primary care Doctors office know that I am on the mend when I went in for a flue shot. I didn't see the Doctor, but I'm sure he got the message. Today I get a call that he'd like to invite me in for a routine evaluation. I'm not so sure I want a routine evaluation. I've been, ultreasounded, biopsied, surgeried, scanned, radiated, Erbituxed, ported, tubed(multiple times), and, facemasked. What the hell am I going to do with a routine evaluation. I want some form of upgrade, Platinum status at a minimum. Where's my upgrade? Shouldn't I be entitled to a premium waiting room? What about a plaque? Kenny Rogers – Just Dropped In (To See What Condition My Condition Was In)

   We've pushed through the 40 followers barrier. That's right there are actually 43 people who admit to reading this thing. Be proud people. 5000 hits to this sight since its inception in June. We have been read in 10 countries. What I find amusing is that I get between 75-150 hits per day.  I would hope that one of you guys, or the anonymous hitters, would have picked up the phone to call Pat O'Toole. Ask him about "the joke", hell ask him about anything.(440) 937-6003 Operators are standing by, I can't do this all day!Bee Gees – I Started A Joke 
UPDATE: !!! Hello Australia 11 countries!!!

   This morning I get to have coffee with Pete, and Marcia. The freedom to get out on a more regular basis is wonderful. Yesterday I ran into friends at lunch, and then at the Nordstom Rack(I ain't got no body). Bumping into B-Lloyd at the Rack provided me with a lovely dinner visit. This additional mobility is pretty nice. I miss investing in the lives of others, and being on the firing line of life. Get busy living or get busy dying. So much for minding my own business, let's live! Michael Franti & Spearhead – Say Hey (I Love You)
In Gratitude,
TJH

Todays playlist:
Mickey Newbury – Just Dropped In
Rodrigo y Gabriela – Tamacun(thanks B-&AmyLloyd)
Boston – More Than A Feeling
Steve Forbert – Romeo's Tune(ask Brian Maloney about Williams College)
Grateful Dead – It Must Have Been The Roses

Did You Call Pat O'Toole? 9/26/11

   Why haven't you called Pat O'Toole?

   It should come as no surprise that I tend to over do it on the weekends. This is not a recent phenomena. In my current condition I get exhausted quickly. I was in the Jos. A Bank store on Saturday afternoon because they were having a sale(hard to believe), and my clothes don't fit. The sales advisor commented that there was a lot of extra fabric on my backside, and would I like to have the butt tucked? By all means please tuck the butt.  I shopped so hard that I had to have Beth drive me home for an emergency nap.The Grateful Dead – Box Of Rain

   I refrained from visiting a friend on Saturday afternoon, and when I called to explain, she completely understood. She was recently diagnosed with terminal cancer, and could not have been more gracious. I hope to get a chance to visit with her in the very near future. Ray Charles – Georgia On My Mind

   Today I dug out a stash of some skinny clothes, that are now fat clothes, and fat clothes, that are now ridiculously fat clothes. I have suits, jackets, and pants that have not seen the light of day in decades. The pants were linen, khaki, corduroy, and various blends. I found an old favorite pair of Nantucket Red khakis.  I'm glad that I was able to find these treasures, now I need to put the fat clothes out in the garage. Weezer – Weezer - In The Garage

   I have some friends coming over for dinner. One of my buddies hasn't been over since before I was diagnosed. I'm looking forward to spending some time with him. The visitors are lined up this week. My dance card is booked through Thursday. I look forward to these visits. My energy is better when I have friends within reach.Joe Cocker – With A Little Help From My Friends

   Mom is on her way back to Jersey for the week. She just called from Albuquerque NM. This is an unscheduled pit stop due to hydraulic problems. Hopefully she will catch an alternate flight without much hassle. Right now they are talking about putting her up in a hotel and flying her out in the morning. I suggested she get further east to shorten the trip tomorrow. We'll keep our fingers crossed. Joe Cocker – The Letter - Single Version, Arlo Guthrie – Coming Into Los Angeles (original version) Update: She's flying back to Phoenix, and jumping a red eye back out to Jersey tonight.

   I'm gonna prep dinner, and take a nap. My brother Terry received a condolence call today. "Sorry to hear about your brother". He assured the caller that to the best of his knowledge, his brother was doing just fine. He called me tonight, just to make sure.  I'm pleased to report that the rumor of my demise is premature.Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young – Helpless - Previously Unreleased Mix

   Tomorrow I get a haircut. I am healing enough to know that this haircut will never become a trend.
Todays Playlist
Dashboard Confessional – Hands Down - EP Version,
Franz Ferdinand – Take Me Out 
Cake – Going The Distance
George Thorogood And The Destroyers – Get A Haircut
Beck – Devils Haircut
Michael Franti & Spearhead – Say Hey (I Love You),
 George Thorogood And The Destroyers – If You Don't Start Drinkin' (I'm Gonna Leave)
George Thorogood And The Destroyers – Move It On Over
   TJH

Thanks Mary Jo 9/25/11

   Today I had breakfast with mom, lunch with the ladies, and dinner with Bart,  Doug, and Frank. The appetite is not really back, but I remain motivated to eat. The salivary glands, and taste buds will return in due time. I have to do a better job taking in sustenance. I'm sure that 168lbs. is not my optimum weight. I am pretty sure a haircut with some special blending in the back, is on the agenda. Our guests raved about the designer ice cream from Breamer's in Cincy(thanks Julie and Paul). They said the pepper jack cheese was very spicy, but I couldn't tell. I didn't try the deviled eggs, but did have a decent sized soft taco, and a couple of buffalo wings. I didn't taste much.

   We had a nice visit with Shannon, Sarah, Maggie, and Kate. The ladies were buzzed on sugar, and we started telling some stories. Beth encouraged me to tell the "Pat O'Toole joke". Pat O'Toole is my cousin via marriage to my cousin Mary Jo. The joke was told at a family wedding for cousin Kevin and Heather Kilbane. Two generations were gathered at a large table, and my sister Noreen encouraged Pat to tell "the Joke". He wisely declined knowing that the joke was completely inappropriate for the mixed crowd. By mixed I mean old school hard line Catholics, and my generation. He knew that he shouldn't tell the joke in front of his Mother-in-law(my dear Aunt Mary), and certainly not in front of Billy, and Mary Kay Hagan. Another agitator suggested for Pat to tell the joke, and he was off to the races.Graham Parker – No Holding Back
 
   The joke is about a theme party where you come dressed as your favorite emotion. Please feel free to call Pat at (440)937-6003. When the dust settled my generation was howling, screaming, and pissing they're pants. The mixed crowd was catatonic, randomly making the sign of the cross, and praying for his eternal soul, which was most certainly going straight to hell. The memory of my sister's hysterical shriek is crystal clear. Thank You! I'm pleased to report that today's retelling of the joke was well received by the ladies, who shared a few of they're favorites. The Rolling Stones – Emotional Rescue

   I received a call from my brother Marty, who was working the sidelines at a CYO football game this afternoon. He bumped into an old friend Gil Ryan. I met Gil through Mary Jo. His picture may still be on Big Mare's basement wall. Marty put Gil on the phone, and we picked up right where we left off 30 years ago. Gil and I had a very good run in the 70's and early 80's. We busted each others chops immediately. It's not that he didn't care how I was doing, he already knew. He didn't have to ask, or suggest he was praying for me, I already knew. I was visiting family in Cleveland one time 6-8 years ago, and a complete stranger approached me and said "I know you". He wasn't sure exactly how, but was certain, and so we started to unravel the mystery. I assured him that I hadn't lived full time in Cleveland since 1973. I summered in Cleveland while attending OU in the late 70's. He was positive. He asked me if I had ever gone to the Rib Burn Off at Burke Lakefront Airport. Oh My God! He remembered his friend Gil and I doing quite a spectacular Soul Train line dance through the Rib Festival. I know a boom box was involved. Go ahead see it in your minds eye, two very happy, rhythmic white boys dancing through the crowd at Burke Lakefront Airport.  An instant classic.
Sly & The Family Stone – Dance To The Music,
Sly & The Family Stone – Stand
Grateful Dead – Truckin'
I had a very good day today, thank you God.
TJH
More of todays music
Graham Parker – Break Them Down
Graham Parker – Local Girls - Digitally Remastered 1996
The Grateful Dead – Terrapin Station Medley:
Graham Parker – Comfortably Numb
Jethro Tull – Locomotive Breath

I'm a Runway Model 9/23/11

   My clothes are falling off. Fat clothes, skinny clothes, hell I'd probably fit in that canary yellow leisure suit from 1973. I have no idea how I misplaced that fashion faux pas. I know it will always live on in Aunt Mary's basement wall of fashion. My jackets make me look like Tom Hanks in Big. Larry Clinton – Heart And Soul I need elastic, and drawstrings. My belts don't fit, and I'm swimming in my shirts. How did this happen? I'm not sure whether I should dance, or die. Let's dance! House Of Pain – Jump Around I definitely need a smaller belt, or a slower dance!Music of the 40s – Begin The Beguine
   I received a flu shot this morning at my primary care Doctors office. They haven't seen me since March. They had originally prescribed 10 days worth of anti biotic, followed by the ultrasound. I called in April to let them know that the ultrasound showed some abnormal masses, and that I was subsequently diagnosed with stage 4 squamous cel carcinoma, but have not been in the office through my treatment. I was pleased to walk in and request a flu shot. I normally don't like getting shots, but I felt like a survivor walking into the office. God forbid I get the flu! The shot I'm really looking forward to is that Shingles vaccine. My dad had shingles, and hated it worse than cancer, and dialysis combined. I have to wait until my white blood count is better until I can get the active shingles virus injected into my system. I can't wait! Don't want no Shingles! The Cure – Friday I'm In Love
      I ran into a guy this morning who couldn't believe that his urine sample would test positive after having only 2 beers. I understand, but if you are in a position to have your urine checked wouldn't you want to know exactly what tolerance they allowed before they tested. I would think that 2 beers is pretty reasonable. But I guess the DMV is less tolerant. Go figure. Brendan Shine – I Like Beer Traffic – John Barleycorn (Must Die)

Todays Playlist
The Mighty Mighty Bosstones – The Impression That I Get
Gloria Gaynor – I Will Survive
Blackie and the Rodeo Kings – Summer Side Of Life
Gary U.S. Bonds – This Little Girl
Gary U.S. Bonds – Jole Blon
Madonna – Like A Prayer
I must say I am finding some tasty morsels on spotify

Take the Over 9/22/11

   I saw some friends this morning who reminded me again, just how fortunate I am. The fact that I live in a time where a protocol exists that will allow me to survive a formerly fatal disease is miraculous. I am reasonably certain that if my symptoms had shown up 30 years ago you would be reading someone else's blog.The Shins – New Slang

   The fact that people have been studying this disease, and applying their knowledge over time has provided me with a reason to remain optimistic. I have optimism without arrogance.  I didn't kick cancers ass. I have been given a daily reprieve today. Tomorrow may be a different story, but for today I have recovered from a seemingly hopeless state of mind and body. The mental recovery is sometimes more painful than the physical recovery. My mind has me running marathons with imaginary grandchildren. The Strokes – Someday

   My friend also reminded me that wanting to have this all behind me is not a substitute for walking through this process. I really need to put one foot in front of the other, and follow the directions from my physicians. I had been trying so hard to get in shape, and change my physical condition, that I was actually doing harm to my recovery. The Doctor reminded me on Monday that I was still in the acute recovery stage, and that my body is still breaking down. The Erbitux, and Radiation were continuing to attack my system, and would be for several weeks. He suggested I step away from a strenuous exercise regimen. I told him I was only walking 1 mile per day at a slow pace. He told me that if I continued to loose weight I would be looking at some difficult consequences. I hate difficult consequences. Bad Religion – Sorrow

   I appreciate the blogshots I've been receiving. The subtle anonymous phone calls, texts, and emails just wondering how I've been. "Haven't read anything from you in a while". "Just wanted to make sure you didn't need anything". "How come you quit writing"? Are you dead? Most people I know are very sensitive!

   When I was first diagnosed in May my friends really stepped forward in a big way. One of my buddies called to make certain his middle name was spelled right in my will. Another friend made a request for some quality neckwear.  A third friend mentioned that he'd always admired Beth.  I didn't hear anyone set an over/under, but let me just say for today.... "take the over".

Todays Playlist
– Men Without Hats - Safety Dance
Willie Nelson – Unchained Melody
The Kooks – Junk Of The Heart (Happy)
The Kooks – Naive
Your Loyal Serf,
TJH

Good Role Models 9/12/11- 9/21/11

  I had a gremlin jump into my blogspot dashboard, and erase 2 quality blogs from my menu prior to publishing. I swear these were a couple of real gems that would have been candidates for some kind of blog Pulitzer. Pithy, insightful, and filled with hope. I can't for the life of me recall what I wrote, but I can assure you that it was brilliant. I found myself becoming resentful that my creation had been destroyed, and intentionally not writing. I am such an infant! Modest Mouse – Missed The Boat
   I am regularly reminded that I continue to recover. Last week I had some Ahi Tuna that I could almost actually taste(wasabi/horseradish sauce). This week I realized that my appetite is improving. I was able to get up each day this week, and do some exercise. I was able to enjoy some food, fellowship, and football with friends on Sunday.The Decemberists – Calamity Song
   I enjoyed hanging our American Flag this weekend. I'm also glad that when the storms came Saturday, and Sunday afternoon, I had the respect to take our flag down. I live in the greatest country in the history of civilization. I am proud to be an American, and am grateful for the blessings that we receive as Americans. I am also very aware of the responsibilities, and sacrifices that go along with being an American. TJ is currently deployed in an undisclosed location. May God continue to protect, and keep him in his care and custody. Grateful Dead – U.S. Blues

TJ is third from the left wearing the only sleeveless number 

   The week seems to be dragging. The recovery is not happening as fast as I would like. My energy level is drastically reduced, and I wear our very quickly. The doctor reminded me that I am in the acute recovery stage, and that this may last months. He assured me that I will have some recovery for years. Thanks, Doc. The wounds on my neck are steadily improving, just not fast enough for me. I've become aware of some other physical manifestations of my treatment. My skin color is ashen, and my skin tone seems to be less elastic. My hair is brittle, and seems to have stopped growing. My eyebrows look like they've been singed. I've got chicken legs. Other than these small side effects, I look like a million bucks.The Outlaws – Hurry Sundown - Digitally Remastered 2001 

   I would like to welcome a reader from Italy. I love Italy. I remember being in Florence on a hot summer day. The happy American tourist. The window was opened, and I was enjoying the bumper to bumper midday gridlock. A young man reached into the window of our cab, and grabbed my manly shoulder pouch. He pulled, I pulled back, we had a little tug of war, and I held on to the bag. He was walking to his next job and stopped to look at me from behind the car. He gave me an insulting non verbal hand gesture. I held up the bag and gave him a 1 fingered salute. Ahh Florence! I'm glad to know that there are people out there who stay connected. – Funiculi Funicular
   Through the process of writing I've been blessed to be in contact with so many old friends, and friends I haven't met yet. The world is getting smaller all the time. I'm finding comfort in hearing that I am being read in Naperville, Long Valley, and somewhere in Malaysia. Asian Traditional Music – Malaysia Melody A friend called this week, and asked if he could give my # to one of his guys who was going through treatment for cancer. My # is (480)242-7910 operators are standing by. The fact is that people connect. People connect me to the world. I have been lifted up during a seemingly bad time in my life. I have been given everything that I ever needed. Your collective Power has carried me. You people with various philosophies, religious beliefs, and spiritual leanings gave me the "bump" I needed, right when I needed bumping.Pete And The Pirates – Things That Go Bump
 My dear friend Roger Doyle passed away a year ago this week. He was one of the finest men I have ever known. He was a living example of the kind of man I would hope to become. It is good to have role models. He was put in my life at just the right time to help me change trajectory, and I will be forever grateful for his friendship. The same can be said for my friend Randy Howes, who ended his fight with pancreatic cancer on Sunday. May they, and all our dearly departed, rest in peace.

Roger C. Doyle

 Dropkick Murphys – The Wild Rover
The Outlaws – Green Grass & High Tides 
The Outlaws – (Ghost) Riders In The Sky - Digitally Remastered, 1996
Respectfully submitted,
TJH

Marty is in Transit 9/6/11

    I enjoyed a wonderful visit with my brother Marty. I am having a little separation anxiety in conjunction with his departure. Not just because he's leaving, but because I sent him back to Cleveland Ohio with some fine cigars. These cigars have been accumulated with love over the past several years. I know that they are in good hands, and will be enjoyed with good friends, and family. There may be some scientific evidence which suggests that they may contain carcinogens. I'm not a heavy smoker, I've probably enjoyed 10 cigars a year for the past 10 years. I've smoked under 5 cigarettes my entire life. I smoked about 3 bales of marijuana, but none since 1987. I'm pretty sure my smoking activities have been curtailed for the foreseeable future. I don't even have to ask Beth, it's better that I should just find a good home for the good smokes. Blues Traveler – Hook

    My head is recovering faster than my body. I completed the treatment protocol, now I want an expedited recovery. The problem with this philosophy is that the body is not always able to maintain the recovery regimen that I have mentally established. Sometimes I just have to crash. There is not much advance notice. I hit a certain threshold and then my systems go into an automatic shutdown. Dave Matthews Band – Ants Marching

   I am waiting for mom to arrive. I had to unceremoniously cut short dinner last night, and figured I'd give her a rain check while I'm feeling well. I'm finding that my energy level is much better in the morning. The pace of this weekend may have been a tad aggressive for this stage of my recovery.

   For you Marty... Iggy Pop – The Passenger

   I just did a mile on the treadmill, and now I am going to lay down. I may have overshot the mark. Marty bought me some fancy, very light track shoes. I think the shoes held up better than I did. I may need a slower pair of shoes.Edward Sharpe & The Magnetic Zeros – Home

Thanks for the encouragement!
TJH


 

So much for bloggers block! 9/4/11

Talking Heads – Psycho Killer - 2005 Remastered Album Version
Talking Heads – Psycho Killer - Acoustic

   "Don't touch me I'm a real live wire". I need to be re-wired. The neurological ramifications of throat cancer have been grossly underestimated. My circuitry is shot. The standard wiring was eliminated during the cancer surgery on June 2, 2011. The electricians have not been back on the job since then, and it appears they have no interest in fixing the mess they left behind. All those intricate tiny tendrils of nerve endings have been displaced. They have been given the opportunity to provide a sensation, and are working overtime. My shirts hurt, the air conditioning hurts, but the front of my hair looks great. I think it looks a little like David Byrne circa 1977.
Talking Heads – Burning Down The House
Talking Heads – Road To Nowhere
Talking Heads - Life During Wartime

   I kinda got stuck in a Talking Heads time warp for a minute. The back of my head gives me a Gary Oldham feel from the 5th Element. I'm glad I cant see it without the use of smoke and mirrors. Enjoy!

    I hope this stuff gets better in a relatively short period of time. My favorite food of the weekend was an unexpected Ahi Tuna appetizer with a wasabi horseradish sauce at Firebirds in Chandler. The worst food selection so far is without question the mouthful of buttermilk biscuit at breakfast this morning. That thing devolved into a full mouth of paste almost instantaneously. I was left with a plaster of Paris mold of the inside of my mouth. There really is no cool way to extract that from your teeth, or the roof of your mouth.
Del Amitri – Tell Her This
Del Amitri – Roll To Me

Hair club for Tim 9/4/11

   Duane Eddy – Peter Gunn
   Sorry for the delay in my blogging, I've had treatment block. I had a long period of recovery after my last treatment. I didn't really get my sea legs back until Thursday. The effect of that last treatment was pretty formidable. I would love to blame Marty, but he has been encouraging me every day to blog.
   Marty dropped me off to see some friends in Ahwatukee(this is where I was robbed at gunpoint 4 months ago), Saturday morning. During the visit I mentioned that I would be needing a ride home. There were 3 offers made immediately, and a couple of backups. People really do want to be of service. What can we do? How can we help?
  During times of complacency the human condition does not always translate well, but if you add some degree of challenge into the mix, we get a very different view of our fellow man. Sometimes the view is better, but not always. You can see it in the eyes of the people receiving treatment. They have a degree of defiance, without malice, that will not allow failure. You also recognize the people who have lost the will to fight for that day. On that day the disease is a big winner, but hopefully we live to fight another day. I've only had a couple of these moments, thank God.
   I squirted my dinner all over the kitchen window, and valance. It was a syringe malfunction. My hair started to fall out this week. I have a receding neckline! Always a fashion leader, a trend setter. It starts from the back of my neck and goes up about 3 inches(photos are in the next blog). It appears to run in the same line as the extra heavy dose of radiation I received the last week of treatment. A lovely parting gift. "Thanks for playing, baldy".
 Michael Franti & Spearhead – Say Hey (I Love You)
  The Radiation oncologist sent me home with a tupperware of concoction he mixed in front of me. It was an Aquaphor Healing Ointment, and Lidocaine - Wikipedia mixture, to paste on the throat and neck. The white paste doesn't look great, but it will stop the pain.
   We met Mom for breakfast this morning at Biscuits in Ahwatukee. I ran into a friend of mine and his 2 sons. They were a couple of fine young men ages 11, and 7. They came over and introduced themselves, and we had a little chat. When we finished our meal and were getting ready to fight for the check(mom was very quick), we were told that our bill was paid by my friend. He grabbed the opportunity to help. He saw an opening and took full advantage. It was a veteran move, pulled off very anonymously. It reminded me of me, and made me smile.Michael Franti – The Sound Of Sunshine (Album Version)
   We left our breakfast and headed over to the farmers market for a little after breakfast stroll. The nice lady at the herbal ointment stand gave me some holistic cream for my napalmed neck. 100 pecent pure African shea butter, will be just perfect for nuclear neck. I wonder if it stimulates hair growth?
Creedence Clearwater Revival – Who'll Stop The Rain
Ramones – I Wanna Be Sedated
Stevie Wonder – Signed, Sealed, Delivered (I'm Yours) - Alternate Mix
Bobby Darin – Beyond The Sea
Looking at the opportunities,
TJH

Ready to Recover 9/2/11

   My brother Marty rolled into town yesterday.Meat Loaf – Bat Out Of Hell He needed to get eyeballs on me to be convinced I was surviving well. I don't blame him for wanting to see me with his own eyes. I sold him a lot of stories early in his existence. I have a 5 year advantage, and he remains reasonably suspicious. Elvis Presley – Suspicious Minds

   I'm glad he is here. We'd both like to spend more time together. I know that I love, and that I am loved. We had a fabulous class at the Apple Store. He is enjoying him some Spotify. Vampire Weekend – Holiday I spoke with TJ today, he just finished a 16 mile ruck in under 3 hours. He's spending the long weekend in a small town about an hour out of Vienna. I believe Kevin is in Boston. Vampire Weekend – Cape Cod Kwassa Kwassa
   I saw the Radiation Oncologist today, and he is giving me the greenlight to recover. I am ready. I'm ready for the treadmill, some sensible solid food, a gradual reduction on my painkillers. I'm being re-released into the environment, like a bird with a repaired wing. I want to fly. I will follow the guidelines, and directions of my doctors. I had my last treatment a week ago, and have been in a pretty solid funk all week. My energy level has been shot, and my pain level has been high. Today I had a noticeable improvement in both energy, and pain. The Strokes – Last Nite

   How many second chances have I already been given? How fortunate? I am immeasurably blessed. This is not subject to health. This has been true my entire life, and as my life continues to unfold into goodness.
Enjoy the music!
TJH

Billy Bragg and Wilco – California Stars
Adele – Make You Feel My Love

Miss You 8/30/11-- 9/1/11

The Rolling Stones – Miss You
 CH CH CH CH...What's the matter with you boy? Just waiting for some spring to return to my step. I've been noticeably off balance since Friday. The cumulative effect is a multifaceted assault(rashes, blisters, digestive difficulties, fatigue, oral complications, vertigo, emotional instability), but I don't have to go to treatment today.
   Today they want a blood test. I'm not exactly sure what they are looking for, but the fact that I'm having a hard time keeping nutrition is somewhat disconcerting. My physique is smaller, but is still doughy(not a chiseled 173). I have more than enough in prudent reserves. I remembered to apply the topical cream to numb my port, but the anti nausea pill must not have agreed with the Ensure. They've called for additional tube feeding. The custom supplement contains fiber, and should help to solidify my process. Bart picked me up at 8:15, and we were off. I feel somewhat awkward returning to the treatment facility for a simple blood sample.
   The fabulous port malfunctioned this morning, and I was sent home with a shooter of heparin to de-clog the port. Not a big deal, I'll just try again tomorrow.
   Mom stopped by today with some home made ham and pea soup. Good for whatever ails me.
   One of the more noticeable aspects of my recuperation is a heightened awareness of love. An appreciation for the calls, messages, and cards. I feel a sense of closeness. The blessed interactions with so many people that I love. I've been graced with the ability to recognize so much love that it is almost overwhelming. I miss being able to interact freely without concern for my health, but I like the way I'm tuned right now.

   Bart picked me up this morning for a successful blood test. On the way out I stopped at the radiation office to replenish my exhausted supply of Aquaphor Healing Ointment. This ointment helps alleviate the sting, and is not as greasy as some of the other ointments I've tried. I saw some of the usual suspects, including the woman who took my time slot. She and her husband were happy to see me, and the feeling was mutual.
Enjoy the Day!
TJH
Duane Eddy – Rebel Rouser
George Benson – On Broadway
George Benson – Breezin' - Remastered LP Version
Al Stewart – Year Of The Cat
The Allman Brothers Band – Statesboro Blues