5/28/11 Good Morning,
Had a pretty restless night. Some soreness, but mostly psychological. Threw some garbage out yesterday, and the maggots were in full bloom. Couldn’t sleep w/ all the maggot memories. Went out this morning at first light to check on the garbage, and sure enough they had multiplied exponentially. (It is what they do) Wish I had a flamethrower. TJ probably has access to the right kind of deterrent, but he’s in Germany. (Thank you for your service.) Kevin is in London. I’m getting picked up to meet some friends this morning, that should get my head straightened out. The golden voice seems to be on sabbatical, looks like I’ll be doing more writing. Having some difficulty swallowing, guess I’m entering the weight loss phase.
Surgery is scheduled for Thursday afternoon. 2 Surgeons for 4 hours picking through the left side of my throat, taking out cancer & leaving everything else. I know that my life continues to unfold into goodness. I know that I am uniquely qualified to go through this phase of my life. I said my prayers, made my bed, took a shower, and brushed my teeth. Trudging is not a walk of tears, but a walk of purpose. My life should reflect a walk of purpose.
Beth (Thank God for Beth.) has allowed me to decide on my course of treatment. She has listened to me vacillate on whether to get a 2nd opinion. She has watched me go through the process of gathering info to get 2nd opinions. Cleveland Clinic, Mass General, MD Anderson, they all take a great deal of time, and energy. They want all the files, tissue samples, insurance authorizations, in order to have us fly to them for a 1 hour consult 3-5 weeks from now. I think that I have been directed this far in my life by the hand of a Power Greater than myself. I feel that this Power is manifest in my life, and that I can rely on this strength beyond my own. My ENT surgeon is a young man w/ a medical degree from Yale, and a residency at U-Dub. (Washington) He saw me when his partner who was referred to us was unavailable. He has been drawn into my life w/out hassle. He just appeared in my life. I trust him.
I have spoken w/ so many people over the last few days that my head is swimming in memories. I will try to unravel some of them and set them down for review.
