Noreen 10/27/11

Brazil, and India... who are you people?
Jim Croce – Time In A Bottle
Gordon Lightfoot – If You Could Read My Mind

   I woke up on the right side of the bed this morning. Said my prayers, had a nutritious Ensure Plus, made my bed(and didn't want to crawl back under the covers), walked one mile on the treadmill, and took a shower. My attitude is gradually improving, I get tired of myself complaining about how tired, worn out, sore, and gastricly challenged I am. I know that it is understandable, but it is also pathetic.

   Yesterday marked the 14 anniversary of the passing of my sister Noreen. We were Irish twins. She was always at the seen of the crime with me. We shared a blessed childhood in a blessed family. I hit her with a golf club when she was 18 months old, and I was under 3. I took a pretty good divot. I know I didn't intentionally hit her, but try to explain that to an angry, and frightened parent looking at blood gushing from the noggin' of a beautiful daughter. For the rest of her life she had a permanent dimple in the middle of her forehead courtesy of her big brother.

   She had my back for years. She drove when I couldn't, and covered my tracks. We left a Monday Night Football game at the old Cleveland Municipal Stadium after the Browns lost a horrible game to the Houston Oilers 6-3. It was a crowd in a foul mood. Traffic leaving the stadium was bumper to bumper. A traffic altercation was almost inevitable... Almost.

   A group of rowdy hooligans threw a hanger at our transportation, (which I believe was a Nova) and it was on. Our car emptied. We had a lot of people in our car.  I had an instigator on the trunk of his car by the hair. I was explaining to him why he shouldn't have thrown the hanger at us when a young lady jumped on my back and started scratching my face. My sister jacked her up so fast she didn't know what hit her. My sister landed a series of combinations that would have made my father proud. They were trying to roll the automatic windows up on Terry McLaughlin' hands, and he was kicking the shit out of the side of the car. I believe my brother Terry disabled the hooligans car by removing the keys and throwing them across traffic into the Flats. Then we left the disabled car in the middle of traffic, jumped in the Nova and went home. The night was not a complete loss.

  In April of 1997 my sister, and her family were visiting us in AZ over Easter Break.  She was fighting cancer. I had a heart attack playing Laser Tag, and she was at my side. At the hospital she told me, informed me, demanded that I would live. She shared with me some fears about her own mortality. She was going to fight, but the cancer was a formidable adversary. She passed away on 10/26/97, and I think of her every day. She was cancer free when she died, but her immune system was so suppressed that she couldn't fight off a cold. Cancer scares me. I hate cancer.

Louis Armstrong – What A Wonderful World

Alison Krauss – When You Say Nothing At All

dessie o'halloran – Patsy Fagan

There are people out there with real problems.
   Let's talk about them!
   How about those idiots in Washington. The worlds largest push-me pull-you.
   Hard to believe Amy Winehouse was only 5 times the legal limit.
   One of the Kardasians is having marital problems.
   Chaz Bono felt discriminated against.
I have a great life!
Thanks Nor,
TJH
   
   

Why do I need a PET Scan to decide if I feel OK? 10/24/11

   11/1/59-10/26/97(Nor)   Louis Armstrong – What A Wonderful World
   6/1/33-10/23/99(Nance)     Julie Andrews;Irwin Kostal – The Sound Of Music
   4/3/22-10/27/2002(Justin)  Petula Clark – Downtown - Petula Clark
   1/16/31-10/22/99(Chief)    Amazing Grace - Bagpipes

   Am I cynical, skeptical, suspicious? You bet I am. The truth is that my recovery is magnitudes better than it could be, but I remain hesitant to embrace the evidence. I want additional confirmation that the little microorganisms have been decimated. I want to see their lifeless entrails displayed on my Doctors View-Master. I've received nothing but optimistic reports from all of the professionals, but I'm not completely sold. You guys are sold, and I appreciate that, but...

   I have a ton of old stories in my head that keep flashing back.

   I see the Medical Oncologist today. He's kind of the ShotCaller. He'll let me know when it's OK to pull the tubes, and ports. He's the guy who all of the reports run through. A brilliant, but quirky little fellow. Reminds me of a 50 year old Einstein with the flyaway hair, and Jerry Garcia neckwear....

   Later that day...

   The little bastard threatened to put me on Ritalin, or Marinol(a THC derivative), if I continue to lose weight. Just what I need at 53, a medical marijuana card. 35 years ago I would have jumped for joy at the prospect, and be selling equity participation. I will not be intimidated by that yard gnome. He doesn't know who he's threatening. His child psychology always works on me. I'm so pathetic. Wait till I waddle back in there looking like Jabba the Hutt. He scheduled me for a full body PET Scan mid November. He also suggested that I get in to see the dermatologist to look at some of my irregular freckles. What irregular freckles? Thanks for giving me something else to worry about that wasn't even on the radar.

   I have the green light to start exercising. I have lost a good bit of muscle mass from my once chiseled physique. I now have these droopy bags of skin hanging under my biceps, and wrinkled droopy flesh on my thighs, and calfs. I am a vision.
Good thing I have my health.

Todays Playlist:
Steve Earle – The Galway Girl
The McCaffrey Folk Singers – Irish Rover
The Dubliners – The Rocky Road To Dublin - Live
Barleyjuice – Weekend Irish
Bette Midler – The Rose
Up the Irish,
TJH

165, it's the new 195...10/23/11

Buddy Holly – Everyday
Hello China! Welcome back Germany(call Uncle Terry)!


OK, OK, I'm getting some calls, nudges, emails, and texts. I haven't been skyped, or tweeted yet, but I'm sure it's just a matter of time. There are literally tens of you, in multiple continents who are speculating about my condition. Blog Junkies detoxing are pitiful creatures, shivering denizens. I recognize all the textbook symptoms. Cold sweats, clamminess, dry mouth, dizziness, and in some extreme cases delirium tremens. Numerous panicked phone calls to other anonymous bloggers with some discrete inquiries. Why did he stop writing me? Where are my musical playlists? I hope that bastard is so sick he can't even think about writing. He's got a lot of nerve. He better be pretty sick. I hope he's OK. Is he looking to get rid of anymore of those sweet Cubans? Did he get my card?

   How are you doing? How do you feel? Wow, where did you go? Did you get taller? How much weight did you lose? Are you depressed? Is your hair going to grow back? Are your eyelashes longer?  Did you get your salivary glands working again, how about the taste buds? Are you still sporting the port, and the feeding tube?

   I'm doing OK, I am not recovering as quickly as I would like, but I'm recovering. There are good days, and difficult days. My energy level is extremely diminished. When I do have some energy, I tend to over expend. I recently drove to Rosarito Beach, Baja California, Mexico with some friends. I hadn't been able to get there over the summer for obvious reasons. I had some business to take care of, and assumed it would be therapeutic. James Taylor – Mexico Chris Isaak – South Of The Border - Down Mexico Way LP Version

   Jon & I loaded a couple of king mattresses on the back of his Tundra and hit the road. I was shot after loading the truck, and should have called for a reschedule. I'll be fine. I'll just take a nap. Beth gave Jon a pretty thorough list of babysitting instructions, and we were off. If I lost one more pound he was a dead man.

   Once again my head was writing checks that my body couldn't cash.

    I had to get a new Mexican insurance Agent. The agent I had been doing business with for the last 5 years retired. He actually collected all the annual premiums from his clients, cashed the checks, and took off, without renewing the policies. I suppose it's like a retirement bonus. I'm glad I didn't have any claims, but realizing I was driving uninsured last year in Mexico is somewhat unnerving.The Refreshments – Banditos

   In addition to the insurance, I had a chance to meet with our property manager,  lawyer, and the representative for the builder. None of these meetings were unpleasant or stressful, but the cumulative effect knocked me out. Bart met us down there on Friday, and we laughed for the rest of the weekend. We hooked up with Shelly, and Tory for a great meal at La Fonda.

   In the evenings we were fortunate to see a blue tide. Red tide glows blue along the San Diego coast (photo) - BlogPost ...There were phytoplankton in the surf that ignited when the waves crested. It was a gorgeous light show. The sound of the surf is very restful. I hope to hear it again very soon.

The recent medical appointments remain positive. Cardiologist is pleased. Radiation Oncologist is content with some concern as respects continued weight loss. We se the medical Oncologist today. A PET Scan will be scheduled. I'll keep you posted.

Todays Playlist:
Dwight Twilley – Secret Agent Man
Little Feat – Dixie Chicken
The Band – The Weight
Buddy Holly – Rave On
Roy Orbison – Oh, Pretty Woman
A. Banderas & Los Lobos – Cancion del Mariachi
Mariachi El Bronx – 48 Roses


Adios Muchachos,
TJH

Knock on Wood 10/6/11

The Mighty Mighty Bosstones – The Impression That I Get 
Blue Rodeo – Hasn't Hit Me Yet
 
Hello Indonesia?

   I'd be lying if I told you that my impression of my recovery was always good. In spite of the unanimous optimism by people who make a living treating cancer, I admit to having some doubt, and pessimism. I am particularly reminded when in conversations people ask "So, what's the prognosis?" "The prognosis is great, I'm cancer free." But the truth is, there is a lurking notion that I might just be a kid whistling in a cemetery after dark. I try to stay positive, but sometimes I just don't believe what I've been told. I have no good reason to doubt the experts, but from time to time I find myself having the what if they're wrong conversation. The "I have nothing until somebody says I have something" adage only goes so far. I have been sick for the past week, and am getting sick, and  tired of being sick, and  tired.Crash Test Dummies – The Ghosts That Haunt Me

   I go in for a full body PET Scan in November. Right now my throat is still hot, and could possibly give an inaccurate reading. All those micro organisms are heavily mixed up with radiation, and targeted antibodies. It sounds like some kind of gumbo. I apologize for the food reference, but I am finding myself watching Anthony Bourdain: No Reservations - Travel Channel  and a lot of food shows. I'm trying to encourage the redevelopment of my salivary glands, and taste buds. I have no idea if this is effective, but at this point I'll try anything. Crash Test Dummies – Superman's Song
   That is just about enough negativity for one morning, time to get after the day. My attitude is better when I feel better. I feel better after I take right action, but if the right action means taking another GD nap I'm gonna scream. Rusted Root – Send Me On My Way

Today's Playlist:
Crash Test Dummies – Here On Earth (I'll Have My Cake)
Crash Test Dummies – At My Funeral
Blue Rodeo – Bad Timing
Blue Rodeo – 5 Days in May
Glen Phillips – Courage
The Bongos – Mambo Sun
I'm starting my day over right now.
Cover me,
TJH

Dread Pirate Roberts 10/3/11

14 countries! World Party – Ship Of Fools

   I'm making it through the last few days. Not exactly the uptick I was hoping for, but I may have tasted some Mexican food yesterday. I had a soft taco at Serranos, and may have tasted the salsa. I can only hope. I asked Beth to taste my prescription tooth paste last week. Since it is prescription, I was certain that it tasted like tar. She thinks it is mint flavored, who knows for sure? I have to continue to put the toothpaste in my mouthpiece trays until I can produce saliva. I have very little energy the past few days. My head tells me to get after it, but my body says nothing doing. Hold on thar Baba Louie! Glenn Miller – In The Mood

   My throat remains sore, but not horribly sore. The glands seem to be attempting to produce some saliva, which I would welcome, or I could be getting a cold, which I would not welcome. The fabulous nerve adjustments continue. The pins and needles in my ear are almost comfortable.The Waterboys – And A Bang On The Ear

   The weather is breaking. This week in AZ we go through Autumn. Next week we hit winter, and stay there until mid-May when we have a week of Spring, and then settle back into our Summer. I love the change of seasons week. Put the seersucker, and hush puppies away, and bust out the cotton blends, dark saddle shoes, and tweeds. We hold off on the wool until the December.London Philharmonic Orchestra – The Four Seasons, Op. 8, "Spring": Allegro

   Wove Twue Wove! Gotta love Princess Bride. Can't stop myself from watching every time it turns up on the screen. "Have fun storming the castle". Willie DeVille & Mark Knopfler – Storybook Love

Meg is 13 today!Gin Wigmore – Don't Stop
The Kooks – She Moves In Her Own Way (Radio Version)

Todays Playlist:
Toad The Wet Sprocket – All I Want
Bruce Cockburn – Wondering Where The Lions Are
Willy DeVille – When I Get Home
We Just Disagree – Dave Mason
Inconceivable!
TJH

Detours and Road Closures 10/2/11

DUKE ELLINGTON – Take The “A” Train
   I was able to wash the car this(Saturday) morning. I stopped off to re-fill my cup with Hazelnut coffee at the Einstein Bros Bagels on Val Vista, and was on my way.  The car wash is right next to Midwestern Market where I pick up the doughnuts. I have found that these dounuts are arguably the best in Maricopa county(Phoenix). They are better than Dunkin', Crispy Creme, or even Barb's Bakery on 24th and Thomas. The apple fritters are a huge hit. I don't eat them due to the type 2 diabetes, and the fact that they currently taste like wood putty. I enjoy delivering some sweets to the fellas. Marcie set me up with the goodies while I dried the car in the lot. The Horrible Crowes – Sugar, Sweet – Love Is Like Oxygen

   After washing the car, I picked up a couple of friends for some coffee. We were heading to South Phoenix(Ahwatukee), to hook up with some friends. The road detour/closure was not very well marked, and we ended up doing some crazy eights, before regaining our bearing. I didn't mind the detour yesterday.Willie Nelson with Waylon Jennings – Take It To The Limit

   I do vividly remember heading to my biopsy on 5/28/11 in North Phoenix(40th St./Bell). Some jackass had the audacity to roll his vehicle in my HOV lane, and disrupt my transit. I know he did it intentionally to mess up my trip. I said a quick prayer for the bastard, and swerved across 5 lanes of traffic. He was not going to keep me from getting my throat cut! I was determined to be on time for the surgery, but was forced to call the surgical center, and advise them of my traffic status. They didn't really care about the rolled vehicle, they would be ready for me whenever I arrived. Now I felt bad about the upside down driver. Selfishness is a sneaky deal. Hothouse Flowers – I'm Sorry, ZZ Top – La Grange - Re-Mastered LP Version

   I instinctively fall back on a frightened response. How is this going to effect me, why am I being delayed, don't they know who I am? I want what I want, and I want it right now. I am often reminded of a friend who was commuting from Philly to NYC once a month. He had a great routine. He'd drive to his corporate parking spot, get his vanilla latte, and jump on the express. He was heading in to the meeting and his keycard didn't work, so he had to call maintenance for assistance. They gave him a latte instead of a vanilla latte. He missed the express and was ultimately late for his meeting in the World Trade Center on 9/11/2001. Thank God. World Party – Put The Message In The Box

   I went to bed early, and slept forever. I may have overshot the mark again. I'm not feeling 100% today, but it's still early. I think I'll have another nutritious Ensure. I'll watch the NFL and relax.

Todays Playlist:
Sweet – Fox On The Run(don't hate me)
ZZ Top – Tush
John Lee Hooker – Boom Boom
Hothouse Flowers – Don't Go
The Horrible Crowes – Behold The Hurricane
Duane Eddy – Rebel Rouser
Happy Birthday Meg!
Travel Safe,
TJH